Coy, Feminism, and Fajitas. All indiginous to the Christmas Holiday

How time flies. I blink and a week goes by. I've worked practically every day over the past week, except of course on the little known holiday Christmas. It's a big thing here. Who knew these crazy Czechs were Christian. Or Catholic. Or whatever. There is this tradition here, which trust me when I say it is weird. The Czechs buy a live coy, put it in their bath tub in their flat (most flats have but one tub), and let it live for a couple days before Christmas, swimming around in the small volume of water that is provided. And then, on said holiday, it is promptly eaten.

My first question to all of this, was where did they shower, or bathe, when they had their very own carp enjoying its last days? Do they not bathe? Or worse, do they shower with that thing swimming around, nipping at their toes? I am still at a loss.

In the days leading up to Christmas (actually, we noticed it the night we came back from Dresden), they set up large tubs in the street, filled with hundreds of coy. Their, in the freezing weather, men pull one coy out after another, gut it, stick it on a scale, and sell it for a price. Poetic, I know. Thousands of innocent coy lost their lives over the last week. The Czechs, in their bountiful knowledge, tell us that the coy live for over fifty years if they are left to themselves. The Czech nation, obviously, is one of the leading mass murderers of these long living fish.

It has also been told to me that the women bake cookies in the whole month of December. And bake they do. Non stop. The Czechs are still backwards in that way, where women are still solely in the kitchen. Which, for us Americans watching on the sidelines, note how really fucked up society is here, but they dont seem to mind. At least on the outside. Plus, they're baking cookies and forcing them on you. How could you go through a feminist movement while baking cookies? I've never heard of such a thing.

Anyway, I don't feel like going into the social implications that my earlier paragraph just wrought. Better to tell of our Christmas! We had a Mexican Christmas, to be sure. Jamie and I cooked chicken fajitas, drank homemade eggnog (pretty good actually), and laughed. I'm sure we did other things too. That eggnog was pretty strong.

We each opened a present on Christmas eve. I got Jamie books, and not only because I got a large discount at a certain bookstore. No, these were books I really thought she would like to read. She got me a wallet, the very one that I had exclaimed upon laying eyes on it, "I wish I had a new wallet!" She took that to heart. Good girl. She got me a tie too, which I wore on Christmas day. Very nice gifts. It was pretty funny, because the next day when we saw our fellow American friends on the street (it rarely happens), they told us in detail how they made enchiladas for Christmas dinner. What a coincidence we said, we made fajitas! A good laugh, that was.

By the way, Pavel, my manager at Anagram, had no bloody idea what fajitas were. I said fajitas, he thought I said vahitas, which is ridiculous, and even after I corrected him, he was still wondering. So he said, is it like burritos and I said yes.

Close enough.

Dresden

By the time Jamie and I got back to our flat in Prague last night, we were wiped. The jump to Dresden had gone over as expected, with some minor troubles. It started out like this:

Jamie and I sat at the Holesovice Station watching the various different people walk past, all staring at whoever or whatever was staring back. The train station is the happening place to be it seems, and to watch (see: check out) the inhabitants of the dingy station. It would be a major juxtaposition later in the day when we would be sitting in the Dresden station. Jamie remarked, "The Germans must have a lot of money. Just look at this station, compared to Prague." Indeed.

It was funny how it all worked out, us going to Dresden. We had just enough between the two of us to buy our tickets out of there (essentially our travel visas), with a couple crown to spare. Those couple crown went to buying freshly baked pizza from the vendor in the train station, enough to calm our frenzied growling stomachs. Oh, and when I saw freshly baked, I mean baked. I'm not sure there is a Czech word for 'fresh.' We just happened to have 30 euro between us saved from our debacle in Madrid, which would be used towards whatever happened to come our way in Dresden.

The ride north was really beautiful though. Most of it was riding along a river (not sure which, the Elbe? the Vlatkva?), with little towns and small cabins and cottages dotting the riverside. Those little dwellings remind me of an easier time, life without modern frustrations clogging our arteries. I could feel my being pulled towards that simpler lifestyle, but it didnt last long. For all its woes, I do enjoy modernity. While still in the Czech Republic, the train conductor spoke three languages in succession: Czech, English, and German. When we crossed the border, the conductor graciously spoke one: German. Those Germans. They are antagonistic.

Oh, and whats with the border guards stamping your passports with stamps sans ink? What is that a cruel joke or something? I'm trying to be illegal and you're fucking it all up! Have some decency!

When we arrived in Dresden, I was excited. This is the city I've read about engulfed in a firestorm, burned to a crisp! The RAF bombing units 10,000 feet up in the air could feel the magnificent heat of their thousands of incendiary devices exploding over the 'Jewel of the Elbe'. People trying to survive the fire jumped into fountains filled with water, only to be boiled alive due to the intense heat. Us Allies really knew how to stick it to those Germans, bombing a non-fortified city. But...I guess they had it coming.

Anyway, it was cold. And not a haha I love the cold. And not a haha I live in Seattle I know what cold is. This was a cold that creeped through your eye sockets and froze your very brain. Jamie complained of brain freeze. I couldnt feel my fingers. We needed to find some place warm. But before that, we walked the wide boulevards of a remarkably new city, looking at the giant shopping malls that seemed to be everywhere. I wasnt too surprised that everything was new. Kurt Vonnegut said when he crawled out of slaughterhouse basement and he came upon the ruins of Dresden, it was like looking out on the face of the moon. So a lot of this stuff was recently built. But I could see buildings that looked pretty old, that I'm guessing were rebuilt after the bombing, that we were steering for.

By the time we finally reached those buildings, right on the Elbe, there was some sort of graduation going on. Military graduation, to boot. Hundreds of young German military students stood in formation on a large plaza, awaiting the military band that was getting set up behind us, and I'm sure their commanding officer and whatever else they had in store for this graduation. I love seeing so many Germans standing in military formation. Reminds me of those olden days.

When we came upon the future of German's military, Jamie was visibly shivering and I could no longer feel either my hands or feet. So that was bad. We ducked into a restaurant right of the staging ground of the troops, a little place on the river called 'Radeberger Spezialausschank'. If you ever travel to Dresden, I highly recommend it. I ordered blood sausage and liver sausage with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes. I have to say, I was going out on a limb. I never eat liver, and I certainly never order anything with the word blood in it. But, to my delight, it was excellent! Best German meal I've had by far. And the portions at this place were great. You were meant to eat a lot. Jamie and I drank hot wine (Gluewine) and talked about family, the future, and whatever else came up. We stayed there 3 hours, drinking the hot wine and just staving off for the cold that would envelop us soon enough.

It was sad when we had to go. When we got outside, I wasnt even cold! That wine sure did the trick. Why didnt we think of this earlier?? I thought. With the last remaining light of the day we did a photo shoot. I saw a little Chinese boy go head first down some steps. He didnt even cry. Just stared at me while his mother got all bothersome over him. Kid was a trooper. I'd probably cry if I went for a nose dive down some wide German cement steps.

My camera died when we were at this cool little Christmas market. We saw some people just laughing, choking up on their own laughter and laugh some more. Apparently, some people had had more wine than us. Jamie and I danced in the courtyard just outside of an ancient (or rebuilt) church. Jamie kept saying, "Dip me! Dip me!" Which I did but it didnt look as good as in the movies. We got some looks. People were jealous.

The remaining three hours of our stay we prowled the mall. That was about all we could do. The night had come and it was cold. We found a 1 euro store. Everything was 1 euro except for a dildo. That was 3 euro.

As we sat in the nice new train station, we watched 5 or 6 police officers corner 3 Arab men, demanding their passports. They were still there determining whether or not they were terrorists by the time we had to go, about 30 minutes after they were originally cornered. By that time, more cops were called in, and standing about, watching for any sudden move. I wondered, What happens if they missed their train? What if they needed to be somewhere at a certain time? And then I wondered, What if they were terrorists? I'm sure the police were thinking the same thing. I guess I'll never know.

The ride home was relatively uneventful, until a man who I swore was homeless, and had no control over the voices in his head came on board and sat next to us. He would say anything that he was thinking. Which seemed to have something to do with 'Aero City,' because he said that about 2 hundred times for the 10 minutes he was sitting next to us. I was relieved when he left, muttering about Aero City and god knows what else. I can only take a certain amount of insane in my life.

We got our stamps going back into the Czech Republic. This time they had ink. Which is good, because that was the whole point of our trip. And that it basically was a Christmas present, decidedly since all that money had been earmarked elsewhere. There are always birthdays I suppose...

I do hope to go back there, soon. When the winter starts to thaw, especially. They had some of the most amazing electronics in the mall. I will have to go back and see what crazy things those Germans are engineering next.

Schengen

A couple days ago when I was about to leave Anagram after a hard day of watching customers and reading, my fellow American colleague asked me what I was doing for Christmas, and whether I was going home. I replied of course not, where the hell would I have the money for that after working for less then half the minimum American wage. Turns out he was going home, and then said, I just hope they let me back in the country. As in CZ, the country I live in now. To which I was slightly confused, and said, What are talking about? Of course they will let you in. Not so, he said. Here is why:

The European Union has passed laws dropping all border controls along all EU nations' borders starting this Friday, December 21. In other words, when you travel between the Czech Republic and say, Germany, the border guards will no longer stamp your passport. The border guards thankfully all get to keep their jobs, but it puts us expats living abroad in a slight fix. The problem is that while in theory this is a great idea, which has been imposed on all Western EU allies for years now, it is something new to Central and Eastern European countries. Effectively, the Schengen Laws (which they are called), makes it near impossible for illegal immigrants to hop out of their country of residence and renew their three month travel visa. This has been the practice for many of the thousands of expats living in Central Europe. Instead of going through all the ridiculous hoops of obtaining a work permit and work visa (two separate entities), expats have been renewing their travel visas (allowing them to stay in that country for 3 months) by hopping on a train to a nearby country, and coming back in, letting the border guards stamp their passport for another stint in that selected country. The EU has decided to crack down on these travel visa tyrants.

I find it ironic that after 17 years, the laws change right when I arrive. Fantastic. Fate has a sense of humor.

What is worse about all this is that there is no information anywhere about this. There are articles published in the Prague Post, which I duly noted once I had heard about it a couple days ago. But nothing posted around Prague or on the news networks. No wait, let me rephrase that sentence. Nothing posted in English around Prague, which is just the sort of thing that should be published. Only now, when I walk down the street, I see small billboards with an outline of the Schengen Laws. All in Czech. The only reason I know it is that is it has a large picture of Europe and something about Schengen in the title. Thanks for the heads up guys.

When this information finally came to light, a couple days ago, I had my little freak out session but after that, I knew what we had to do. Get out of the country and back in before the December 21 deadline. Give one last Fuck You to the system. Until March, when we get to figure out what to do about the illegal status. Luckily for us, by that time, Jamie should have her visa covered. She has heard that I can have status on her visa as her non-marital spouse. But that is still hearsay and not confirmed. I could technically get a visa, but I need a company here to sponsor me. I do have the option of letting Culinaria sponsoring me, but to be honest, I really don't like the business, and the non stop 12 hour shifts are ridiculous, and boring. Why would I want to put myself through hell every day? Its either that, or staying illegal. Tough choice.

So Jamie and I leave for Dresden on Thursday for a day trip. I told one of my Czech coworkers about it and she had no idea where Dresden was. It's the closest city outside of the Czech borders. 1.75 hours by train. Christ what is wrong with these people?

If I wanted to stay illegal I could always hop on a flight to the UK in March. Since they are not in Continental Europe, they are exempt from the laws. Also they wanted no part of them, anyway. You gotta love those Brits. Stickin it to the rest of Europe.

In short, the Schengen Laws will change the way I and many others living in Europe deal with the system. As the EU cracks down on immigration (much the same in the US), lives change and it gets tougher. But I have no worries about staying here. The cops are all corrupt and you can buy them off if need be. But I hope it does not come to that. I have never bought someone off and I dont expect to start now. Jamie's parents have decided to urge her to come home if things do not start to change and look up by the end of January. For all of you who know how I feel about her parents, I don't have to say anything. For those who don't, they suck.

If these Europeans think they can get the better of us, they are wrong.

hair

Thought I should put an image to the face...or hair.

a little Culinaria

Second day of this Culinaria job. Basically give people what they want when they ask (and hope you know the language they speak to you). The Czechs obviously have no idea about the legal implications working 12 hour shifts without extra pay. Oh yeah, by the way, I work 12 hour shifts. For 70 crown an hour (so I hear). That's $3.93 at the current exchange rate. And no overtime. Frickin wonderful. And this is the place that my producer friend naively told me that the owner payed wages worth of the United States. Not so...

Its not hard work but its difficult staying on your feet continually for 12 hours. You do have on 30 minute break, and thankfully my flat is one minute walk away (literally), so I can go home and eat or see Jamie when I can. Still, that's 11.5 hours of work. And this aint no PA job where you actually get paid according to what you do (sort of). Anyway, it was my second day, and I've already figured out the system. Which is good, because I dont have to be nervous about what will happen next. My first day was actually the one day Sylvia (owner, Canadian, the 'bitch' from an earlier entry) was down in the shop for most of the day, adhering her loyal workforce to her wishes. They were not always loyal, though, and this would cause outbursts. But she would usually cause these outbursts to begin with. She was pretty ridiculous and supposedly she is never like that. I feel that she is always like that and she just happened to be in the shop more than a fleeting minute in her busy schedule. So my first day was a challenging one, and now that I got through the second, it has become clear what the usual atmosphere is like in the shop.

So I'm working 7 days a week, for shit pay. Lovely. Not to mention my online work that I do for Robert, the man at T-Mobile in Seattle. He's paying me so that is good, but I still do minimal things for him. The problem, as can be imagined, is that I do actually have to undergo training for this job, and he is rarely able to speak long enough on gmail to really go over comprehensible material. Its annoying. But typical.

Jamie and I are good. We always seem to get into at least bickering argument every night after I get home. And maybe its because ive been on my feet for 12 hours straight, or she's frustrated about work or whatever. Or a combination of a number of things going on at that moment. And it just sucks. We've always pulled through, and I am forever thankful for that, but those times just suck. Thats all that I can say.

Well, I must bring out the recycling, so I will have to go. Until next time...

update 5-12

I got a haircut. Very Euro. Jamie and I saw Swan Lake last night for free. She is applying to teach ballet at the State Opera. The director escorted us to our seats. That's service. The ballet however, was not so good. Even I could see inconsistencies (Jamie was much more harsh). Friday I start training for the new Culinaria job, but it wont last long. The owner will not hire me past December because I am an illegal immigrant/worker (who knew?). I met my landlord's godson. A big burly man who fixed our bathroom light. He works in a film too. I gave him my CV to pass off to his producer. Build contacts.