Jaro, Tamas, Ewa and I step out of the car, and stretch our legs after the seven hour journey. Before we had left from Budapest, Jaro and I had bought two small bottles of Unicum and promptly drank them in the car out of a Subway cup. It was only after we had started the second bottle that Tamas wondered aloud, ‘Why does it smell like Unicum in here?’
We had neglected to tell him.
Oh that’s nothing, I’m saying, eyeing the back of his head while he drives. Do you want some Coke? And I hand him the cup.
Ahhh!
He finally realized where the smell was coming from.
C’mon Dad! Drink up!
We had been calling him Dad the whole trip. He’s such a dad.
Now we’re stretching our legs in some little town just south of Wroclaw. So wait, why don’t you just drive us up there? Jaro is asking.
Because I would have to drive all the way up there and then all the way back to Ewa’s house!
All the way? I’m squinting at our map of Poland. The blip that supposedly is our current location is directly underneath, and close, CLOSE, to Wroclaw.
All the way? I keep asking.
Five minutes later we’re all standing on the train platform. Ewa is explaining to Jaro what we have to do. Just take this train up to Wroclaw…
What the hell are you talking about? We don’t even know where we are right now!
Just then, we all hear the approaching train. Sure you don’t want to just take us?
No. Get on the train.
Fuck.
We say our goodbyes and board the hulking metal beast, but Jaro has a funny look on his face. What?
I just totally grabbed Ewa’s tit.
What do you mean, you ‘just grabbed Ewa’s tit?!’
He’s laughing hysterically now and I probably look horrified.
I went to shake Tamas’ hand right when she went in to kiss you goodbye!
He’s practically on his knees, he thinks it’s so funny. I’m just shaking my head, but smiling, because I can imagine exactly what happened, and how utterly embarrassing it was.
You fucking idiot.
Well, he’s shrugging. What can I do? They ran in to me!
We had neglected to tell him.
Oh that’s nothing, I’m saying, eyeing the back of his head while he drives. Do you want some Coke? And I hand him the cup.
Ahhh!
He finally realized where the smell was coming from.
C’mon Dad! Drink up!
We had been calling him Dad the whole trip. He’s such a dad.
Now we’re stretching our legs in some little town just south of Wroclaw. So wait, why don’t you just drive us up there? Jaro is asking.
Because I would have to drive all the way up there and then all the way back to Ewa’s house!
All the way? I’m squinting at our map of Poland. The blip that supposedly is our current location is directly underneath, and close, CLOSE, to Wroclaw.
All the way? I keep asking.
Five minutes later we’re all standing on the train platform. Ewa is explaining to Jaro what we have to do. Just take this train up to Wroclaw…
What the hell are you talking about? We don’t even know where we are right now!
Just then, we all hear the approaching train. Sure you don’t want to just take us?
No. Get on the train.
Fuck.
We say our goodbyes and board the hulking metal beast, but Jaro has a funny look on his face. What?
I just totally grabbed Ewa’s tit.
What do you mean, you ‘just grabbed Ewa’s tit?!’
He’s laughing hysterically now and I probably look horrified.
I went to shake Tamas’ hand right when she went in to kiss you goodbye!
He’s practically on his knees, he thinks it’s so funny. I’m just shaking my head, but smiling, because I can imagine exactly what happened, and how utterly embarrassing it was.
You fucking idiot.
Well, he’s shrugging. What can I do? They ran in to me!
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